Fresh Air

Its snowing. Not a big surprise as it is winter in Northern Alberta! I used to embrace winter heartily. I ran a ski area for many years and looked forward to the snow. Now I see it as an obstacle. I need to remember to embrace it again, like a child, with delight!
Do you remember getting up in the morning, smelling porridge and peeking out the window to see the snow? That feeling of anticipation, as you hurried through breakfast to throw on your winter clothes and leap outside! Snow angels, snowballs, snowmen, forts and snowball fights! Playing fox and geese! Pulling little ones on sleds, digging out skates, shoveling off the dugout!
Even our chores took on a different flavor after the snow. The steamy heat of the old barn as we milked, cats curling around our feet. Throwing haybales out of the loft down to the cows. Glasses fogging up as we entered the chicken house.
I think I'm going to make a snow fort this weekend and have a snow ball fight! Anyone want to join me?

20 Things to Start Doing

1. Try listening to other’s point of view instead of arguing. By giving others the respect to be heard, you also show them how to treat you. After you have heard them, offer your opinion on the issue with respect. And perhaps you may change their mind, perhaps they will change yours. The important part is to listen and speak with respect.
2. Be positive in your attitude to those around you. Speak positively and avoid responding to negative comments.
3. Be proud of overcoming struggles in your life. Show others your strengths and accomplishments. This could inspire others to do the same.
4. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Only by allowing ourselves and others that freedom will we learn and grow.
5. Compete only with yourself. You only need to prove things to yourself and you only need to be better that you were before.
6. Be kind. Bullying hurts others and there is no reason to try to have power over another person. Empower yourself by controlling your own actions.
7. Be a true friend. Love your friends the way they are but inspire and encourage them to be more.
8. Be truthful to others. Refuse to participate in gossip. Refute untruths when you hear them.
9. Do things for others, without expecting anything in return. This is called charity, another word for love. Nothing in the world builds up others and yourself like this.
10. Be there for others. But be there for yourself too. Do say yes when you can, but be willing to say no when you have to.
11. Make those you love, your priority. Make time for them and make their world a little brighter. Love is a verb, an action! Make sure that you treat those closest to you with even more kindness and respect than the strangers you hold the door open for in public.
12. Let love rule how you treat others. Treat others as you want to be treated, even when they are not treating you well. Use your mom’s advice, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”
13. Apologize. Being sorry means that we know what we did wrong, we try to make it right and we don’t do it again!
14. Forgive. This doesn’t mean that we allow others an opportunity to hurt you again. It does mean not letting that hurt fester in you. Move forward.
15. Live in the present. We all make mistakes, learn from them and move ahead. Bringing up other’s past mistakes doesn’t help them move ahead either. Instead focus on what we can do better.
16. Growing means changing. We learn, we develop, we change. Only we can change who we are and who we will become. Plan to change in positive ways and embrace those changes.
17. Find your passion. Do things you enjoy. Share that passion and zest with others and allow yourself to dream. Enjoy hearing other’s share about their passions and dreams as well.
18. Worthwhile goals and dreams are hard work. Enjoy the challenge. Show others your perseverance and courage to make those dreams come true.
19. Take time to reflect, dream and pray. We discover our goals this way. We discover ourselves this way. And we discover that there is more to life than ourselves this way.
20. Be grateful- for what you have, for the people in your life, for the world you live in, for the air you breathe. There is so much to be grateful for that we should never stop saying, “Thank you”.

 

Ups and Downs

Some moments are hard. Yah, I know the saying is "some days are hard". But truthfully, my whole day wasn't hard. The majority of my day was good. There were even moments that were great. I woke up being held and feeling treasured. I got my paperwork done...which I had left for the last minute! I had good and productive sessions with clients. Then I went to my parent's place and cooked supper. Unfortunately my mom and I had a disagreement. That is a really rare event. I didn't explain myself well and we had a misunderstanding. I tried to explain myself better and I hope its solved but the disagreement really brought me down.
Why do we do that? Why do we concentrate so much on what went wrong instead of what went right? Why do we allow a short incident color our whole day?
Out of the 1440 minutes of my day, only 25 were actually not good. That is less than 2% of my day! So 98% of my day was good! And on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being fantabulous and 1 being not worth a crap, those 25 minutes were only at a 4 (uncomfortable awkward)! The other 1415 minutes were divided between 8 (pretty dang good) and 7 (pleasantly satisfying).
So how do we change our focus from that 2% to the 98%? We must be present and aware of the good in our lives. We must seek out and remind ourselves of that 98%. We tend to float through our day without being aware of all of the great, good and even fair things, events and people  in our lives. We miss them because we don't acknowledge them.
Acknowledge those great, good and fair moments! Write them down, start a gratitude or joy journal. Be thankful for those moments. Give thanks, give praise and see the good in your life!

The Long Journey

My journey has taken some detours this past year. Life is full of twists and turns and unexpected breakdowns. I am now a twice-divorced mom of 5 grown sons. I managed to hold out until my youngest sons were 18 and graduated. In hindsight, this was a mistake. Instead of creating a wholesome two parent family, I exposed my sons to behaviors that they know are wrong. All of my sons have been supportive of my decision to leave, and expressed that I should have left sooner...much sooner. I fooled no one, not even myself.
In addition, my parents are aging too soon and I find myself in the role of caregiver again. My dad is suddenly dealing with the devastating effects of Rheumatoid Arthritis. His lungs have hardened making even walking across the yard impossible. As well the doctors discovered blockages in his heart which they cannot operate on because of his lungs. He was forced to sell his cattle herd this spring. Mom's health is still fragile as she deals with the effects of the antirejection drugs. I have spent a lot of time with them, moving into their home part of the time.
So in one sense I gained my independence and lost it; gained it emotionally and mentally after leaving a harsh, selfish and unloving marriage; and lost it physically as I help my parents. As willingly as I have given up that freedom, it does take its toll. And there are days I wonder who will take care of me. Then I look up and know.

My work is hard. Not physically, but emotionally. I work as an Outreach Worker for a prevention of abuse program. I hear stories from women who have never been able to share before. I hear disbelief- how did this happen to me? I hear shame- Its my fault, I keep going back. I hear despair- I can't make it on my own.
But more than these, I hear strength- I'm going to leave so my kids will be safe. I hear hope- I will make it. I hear value- He can't hurt me anymore.

If you're being abused, please ask for help. If you know someone who is being abused, let them know you are there for them. Listen, care, support. That's what I do...everyday. I love my job.

crafting words into wonder. Just these 6 words are lovely poetry. Dusky Light: Its still dark here, but the light of the yard light in the snow storm is beauty.  Surprising Reflection: As I stumble into the bathroom and look up from washing, there in the mirror is the reflection of a cross and a lighthouse reminding me of His presence. Lovely Shadow: yesterday's walk.

With Mother's Day soon upon us, I am so grateful for my mom. Her fight through the cancer and with her liver transplant has amazed me. We have grown so close during the 6 week journey. Now that we have been home and life has returned to normal (that setting on the dryer) we don't see each other as much. That's probably a good thing as we were both a little stir-crazy toward the end! But the bond is still very strong. I love my mom and would gladly give up another 6 weeks of my life to be with her! My best ever Mother's Day present, my mom.